OUT AND ABOUT

Yesterday friend J took me to rent a wheelchair and then we went to lunch and shopping at the toy store for a birthday present. It was good to be out. I had an emotional meltdown that morning when discovered that the doctor's office had not faxed prescription numbers for the wheelchair to wheelchair rental place. I became irrationally upset that all my planning had gone for naught and bawled. Not a rational reaction warranted by such a little snafu. The wheelchair wasn't that expensive even if I rented it myself. A sign that I am not quite emotionally stable yet behind all of my thinking that I have a good attitude.

The days outing was great and I was out of the house for about 5 hours.

Today my daughter in law and her two children flew in from a visit to her home country,

Paraguay. She had been visiting her family for about 6 weeks. So now there is more activity to break the monotony and I can get around the house better as my shoulder is becoming very sore from the walker.

No sign of crow today but Husband is cooking some eggs. They seem to like eggs and suet the best.

My foot seems to be a little less numb today. The skin is still tight. I am flexing. Up and down is easy, Side to side much more painful.

Yesterday, I started a little exercise floor routine. Leg lifts and sit ups and stretching.

A DOWN DAY

Last night I had shooting sharp pains on either side of my ankle while wearing boot.

Became sad and negative.

Today I did not get dressed and spent several hours watching TV and playing games on my IPOD.

However, I have not experienced those pains today.

It was the most totally mindless activity day I have had in this experience.

I am flexing my ankle.

I can't believe how much different my left calf is from my right. It hangs down completely floppy with no muscle tone. How can so much be lost in just 2 weeks.

Husband has a bad 24+ hour migraine so I am pretty much alone. Did not look for the crow.

I did start scooting around in my office chair which made kitchen tasks easier.

A phone call from one of my oldest friends perked me up in the evening.

STITCHES OUT; I WENT OUT TOO.

Cast removed and stitches (actually staples) removed.

Well, It was no worse than I expected to look at, still I got a little weepy while left alone with it for a few minuets. I had actually not really looked at my ankle since the initial accident.

The nurse said "Oh its not swollen at all." When in fact it seems to me that my left ankle is twice the size of my right.

There is some numbness around my foot and ankle. P.A. "B" says it might be from the incisions.

Not sure of the prognosis of that.

Anyway xrays apparently were good.

Now I have the removable boot which will some day - maybe 4 weeks- become my walking boot.

Now, no weight on my foot but I am to flex my ankle ( painful) which at least will give me something positive to do. I can also take boot off to shower and sleep.

I asked when I could expect to , say, go on a two mile walk and "B" said - 3 months from surgery. Seems like an eternity. 2 1/2 months now or 74 days give or take.

Instead of the scars I am showing a picture of my xray. That metal is way bigger than I thought it would be.

Husband took me to one of our favorite cafes. We sat outside. I hopped with my walker.

It was good to be out of my house. I am not sure I have ever been confined to my house for that long a time in my life. As we were leaving the cafe - me hopping with my walker - a very little girl pointed and said "bike, bike". If only it were so.

Tomorrow, I am going in search of better means of locomotion.

The crow is definitely putting more weight on her bad foot and using it to sort of limp on.

SUNDAY AUGUST 23, 2009

I woke up in the night with little anxiety surges. Just little spikes. I have been getting these from time to time the last few years. I could take a pill but instead listen to "THE SEALTEST VARIETY THEATER" with Dorothy Lamour. Some good old music and little skits with David Nevin and Alan Young (long before Mr Ed came along).

Yesterday I went out to get some sun on my deck. It was great to be outside. I was outside sitting in my swing for about an hour, even enjoying the heat. All at once my ensconced leg began to itch, something I have avoided so far. I hot footed it back in the house. (Literally as deck floor had become quite hot and my good foot was shoeless.) Thankfully, once my leg cooled off, the itching stopped.

The crow came today. She seems, now, to be accompanied often by two companions. We are calling them the three amigos. Are they really her friends or are they just accompanying her because they have discovered Husband puts out better bird food when he sees her around?

She seems to use her bad leg for balance a little more. Perhaps it is getting stronger.

I accidently did this. Got up too quick and tottered on to the bad leg. OUCH. Then I spent hours worried that I had done some damage.

SETTLING IN

I continue to have very little pain in my ankle. After the first days on the walker, however, I felt like I had done 500 curl ups and my arms and sides were very sore. After two days, this pain disappeared. I am hoping for Popeye like biceps. I am so pleased with myself when I accomplish little tasks like getting my own lunch, washing my own hair.

Friends have brought me wonderful food, beautiful things from the garden and tasty comfort food. I bathe and get dressed every day. I am reading. For the most part I am keeping my sadness in check and my leg up. Yesterday, however, I had a setback. Did not get dressed until 1:00 in the afternoon and felt very low energy. I did drag out my drawing things and drew my feet (good and bad) and wrapped up leg.

I am also listening to old radio shows on line. I had started doing this a few months ago.

If I couldn't sleep at night, Fibber Magee and Molly would lull me back to sleep. Then I was listening to Jack Benny almost every night and craving JELLO, his long time sponser.

Now, I am branching out to various mystery and drama theaters and have just discovered the

series: BOLD VENTURE which starred Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall.

Husband bustles around the house and tends to me. He is keeping busy with his projects.

Milestone one will be next Wednesday when my stitches come out. I will see Assistant B and must ask him about that "almost". I have been reading other blogs about ankle recovery and become overwhelmed so I have decided to stop reading until I start putting weight on my foot and rehab. I know I have a lot of work ahead of me. I found that thinking of 8 weeks as 56 days was very helpfull.

I try not to think of hiking or paddling my kayak or September coming up, my favorite month.

A few days ago the crow came to have a bite and was chased off by another crow who then grabbed the food right out of her mouth. She sat on our neighbors roof for a long time. Husband said she looked sad. Today, however, when she came she had other crows with her who didn't bother her at all. Maybe she has friends and family.

AT HOME AGAIN

Surgery went well according to Dr W.  He said that my bones were strong and, although a bad break, he got it together very well.  He does 2 or 3 of these a week. Usually, they are  almost as good as new.  Wait a minute; didn't Assistant B say "as good as new"?  No almost in there.  I distinctly remember.

I am mostly pain free due to block that went in leg before surgery.  

I come home with a walker and crutches and take to my bed for the evening.

Two weeks in this hard cast then 4 to 6 weeks more with out any weight on my foot.

I am 58 years old. Before now 

I have never been laid up for even close to this long.

I have never had surgery.

I have never been overnight in a Hospital

I have never taken Narcotics.

I have never broken a bone.

I am a very lucky person.

My life's experiences are growing by leaps and bounds.

My dog, Robin comes to me in bed and licks and licks my face.  She has never done that before in our 9 years of sleeping together.  Then she curls up beside me.

The crow with the broken leg is on the power wire in our back yard.  She is a little unsteady as she tries to balance on one good leg.  She sways like a tight rope walker.  She does better when she sort of sits on the wire instead.  Another crow is gobbling up the chicken Husband has laid out on the deck railing.  Stuffing as much as he can into his mouth, he barely makes flight.  Only crumbs left for poor one leg.

MY SITUATION - FEELING SORRY FOR MYSELF

If this accident had happened in October I would have been much more at peace with it.  Or at least that is what I believe.  Due to some domestic chaos we were in great need of our long looked forward to summer excursions.  A week on the Alaska cruise and most of September tramping nomadically in our old Volkswagon camper.  Hiking, tromping, exploring.  Just us and the dog.

Free.    

Sorrow filled me up.  It was not just the fact of missing the fun of these trips but the feeling that my life and our happiness  was somehow totally dependent on this time away.  I did not know how to deal with this sadness.

At the same time deep down I did have some perspective hidden in reserve.  I was thankful, things could be worse, a lot worse.

AT EMERGNCY

I slide myself down the rest of the hill to the waiting car.  It is a quick ride to the hospital.

The first person who comes to me is a young woman who tells me she has broken her ankle twice.

She is walking.  I told her I took that as a good sign.

I am literally whisked in and attended to.  The quickest I have ever experienced in emergency.

A good thing too as my blood pressure has taken a nose dive.  Fluids and pain meds started.

A nice emergency room doctor, Doctor N.  says my ankle is dislocated and suddenly fixes that.

I actually saw it coming.   Xrays confirm ankle broken in both bones.  I am deliriously happy that I do not have to move off of my bed to get xray.  Dr N splints my leg.  Husband and I are both interested in this technology.  Splint becomes rigid when soaked with water.  I reward Dr N by throwing up during this procedure due to pain medication.  A hospital is, thankfully geared up for all such changes in fortune.

Husband leaves from time to time to make sure dog is ok.  He believes that our 9 year old springer is traumatized by my accident.  Also, must make sure she is not too hot in the car but does not take her home as he believes she is traumatized by MY accident.  It gives him something to do.

I am admitted and scheduled for surgery with Dr W that evening.  I rest in my room.  Nurses and staff are great.  Dr W's young assistant, B, comes to talk to me about surgery.  He is very nice and tells me that most of the time these come out good as new.  I have time to reflect on my situation.

THE EVENT Thursday, August 13, 2009

I am going on a cruise to Alaska.  A first cruise, a first look at Alaska.  I am all packed.  All arrangements for the home front have been made.  I am relaxed.  

I must state that I am the worlds biggest advocate of sensible shoes.  Even my dress shoes are sensible.  I only wore the flip flops because they are so comfortable and we were only going out to breakfast.  Walking the dog after breakfast in the dog park would be ok in flip flops, surely.

I told Husband that I did not want to go on the trail system in my flip flops so we would just stick to the park.  But . . . then I got talking.   I wasn't paying any attention and headed down the steep, wet grassy hill.  Swoop, I was skiing on flip flops.  Crash.  Sharp pain.  Ankle at pretty much right angle  and very painful.  

Mind you, this is not the first time talking with out thinking has gotten me into trouble.  In fact it has pretty much been a way of life for me.

THE CROW : An omen?

For the last few months a crow with a broken leg has been a frequent visitor to our bird feeders.

With difficulty, he hangs from the suet feeder.  He prefers to hop around on the ground picking up dropped bits.  Husband has taken the damaged crow into his heart and puts out food on the deck railing.   Other crows are not helpful.

On August 13, 2009 I slipped down a steep,  wet, grassy, slope at a local city park.  I dislocated my left ankle and broke both bones as well.  My sympathy for the crow has increased ten fold.